it's sunday....

my 1st sunday in elo shift.went to the church and have dinner at till village with my two close friends here.hayst.

I missed home but i really did not want to go back in philippines yet.i felt lost but the things and dreams i wanna do and achive was clear.lately, i have had a hard time on myself.some of my friends tell me that i'm lucky,but somehow,i think working as an ofw was not that easy,it's not just about money.it's difficult to work abroad but i felt secure when i wasn't at home.visiting home sounds happy but staying at home for long sounds stress.i dont know why i am feeling this.i hate it but that was what i felt.hayst again.

Bye for now.thanks God it's sunday.iloveyou papa JESUS,please bear with me!

a letter to kim benedict (an insignificant creature)

it is not a letter of bitterness.it is a letter of me for a person whom once i loved the most because i thought that he's one great person but  just last night transformed to uncunning beast.

oh fuck you!you are the most insignificant creature i've ever met.i could not imagine how much i have loved you before.but last night was the last straw.what i felt for you now  was pure anger and hate.how i wish you'll suddenly hit by a bus while walking in the street.i was not hurt by your words fool because i know what is true.suddenly i felt free.your unwanted and indecent words makes me totally moved on from you.

bakit hanggang ngayon hindi mo matanggap na nalamangan kita?ang tanga mo pala.you are laughing at me but what about me?in silence;i smiled while thingking how much i made a fool out of you.that someone named kim was fooled by a lady named mae.

just recently or actualy my first ever blog was for you, showing how much i can't move on but now?huh?what the heck.i was able to see who really you are.and in an instant i was moved on.

hindi ka lang gago kim.isa kang malaking tanga.thanks at nagkaroon ako ng isang laruang kagaya mo.perfect.paniwalan mong hanggang ngayon mahal na mahal pa rin kita.but you are really out of my league now.adios.

emo...

i know what people think of me.

it's just another reason for me to hate.

i spend everyday feeling dreadful.

there's no hope for any of us.

i just wish for a better tomorrow but i got exactly the opposite.

i can't take the pain anymore.

the feeling is killing me inside.

slowly driving me to my most fragile states and i just want you to understand.

understand why i am like this.

undestand how i am feeling.

just plainly understand.

because that is what i need.

i need someone to go through or the worst could happen.

so until the day a ray of hope would cut through the thick clouds of my despair;

i will be waiting;

waiting;

watching;

in the DARKNESS....